| haa haa haaaah! i mock the corss! |
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| photography by: Leo Sanchez |
i am...
the girl that glares at you through fallen strands of hair. for whatever reason. may it be admiration, or absolute hate.
the person who smiles for the sake of smiling, laughs when she is uncomfortable, and states the obvious when there is nothing
left to be said.
the girl that everybody knows, but not everybody wants to know.
the girl that makes an outstanding impression... then fades away.
the girl that dreams of fame, and recognition, though her only marketable skill is to occupy space.
that person... that everybody has been affected by, but will soon be forgotten.
the girl who is antisocial when sober, even more so when stoned, a social butterfly when tipsy, and the horny, depressed,
puking, crazed lunatic when drunk.
the girl who everyone seems to love... but nobody cares to remember.
that girl who opened up in a moment of weakness, and as you forgot what it is i opened up about, i prepare to be forever kicking
myself for being so stupid. secrets are meant to be kept. especially my own.
that girl who stands out from a crowd, is hard to miss, easy to spot... always wants to be noticed, but never wants to be
seen.
the one who seems like a perfectly normal person when i want to... the kind that no one would even imagine does the things
she does...
that girl who forgets even her own identity, until she is naked.
that girl who appears from a distance to be unharmed by others opinions.. when it's just that she cares about most.
that girl who is a sheep in a wolf's clothing.
that girl who looks in her mirror and is looking in the eyes of her greatest enemy.
that girl who seems to care more than she does, or less than she does... depending on the situation.
the kind of girl who can be aware of others deaths... even death of a family member, and be unharmed.
i am also the girl who is deathly afraid of dead bodies.
i'm that girl who is always in darkness, but is afraid of the dark.
i'm the girl who pushes herself into fear, and cries because she's scared.
i'm the girl who craves attention when it's not around, and rejects it when it's everywhere.
i am a walking contradiction.
i am that girl.
who are you?
here's the basic/useless info:
STATS:
Hair: naturally dark brown(roots), dyed purple
Eyes: i wish they were blue, but im stuck with these brown eyes...
Height: i'm 5'5 1/2, i hope i dont grow any more..
Background: im Spanish, Portuguese, and French... but hell if i could speak in either of those languages...
Siblings: yes. one sister, and one brother... both older.
OTHER STUFF:
name: uhh... Rage
Hobbies/what I love: writing poetry, thought writing, drawing/designing clothing, listening to music, going for
walks (cheesy eh?), sincerity, honesty, close friends who love me J, home.
What I hate most: I don’t like being
treated like garbage, being ignored when i’m upset, I hate being sent away, or shooed off, I hate being oppressed, and
tied down by rules and regulations, I hate the no smoking by laws in Ontario... I hate the noise, I hate being on the bottom
of peoples priority lists, I hate not being given a second thought, I hate being judged, I hate sell outs like Fefe Dobson,
and I hate self proclaimed gothic bastards who think they’re better than everyone else, I hate the little things that
just push my fucking buttons, like constant buzzing, or clicking, or being touched the wrong way... in fact I usually don’t
like being touched at all... and the rare times I do want to be touched, no one will hold me... I hate that too. lets see...
I hate being lonely, and I hate waiting to have my heart broken, and knowing its inevitable, I hate being promised a lifetime
with someone and coming to the realization that they’ll be around for only a little while. I hate pouring my heart out
and being shut down, or being treated like my problems aren’t important enough to be considered problems. I hate it
when people are late to meet me, and I hate it when people never want to make time for me, which seems to always fall on the
times I want to spend time with them, I hate it when peoples moods clash with mine, like say i’m pissed off, and someone’s
having the time of their life... well fuck off tinker bell, I don’t fucking care if your having a blast, you’re
dumb, you’re a whore, and your pussy wreaks from a mile away! I hate those un scratch able itches... not the kind on
your back, but the kind where you know something needs to change, and you’re REEEALLY uncomfortable with whatever it
is, but you don’t know WHAT it is... that’s a fucking mental wedgie....
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